decisions | eggfriedfreedom's Blog

Dingo gets back from Morocco tonight at midnight, so my initial plan was to walk round to his house tomorrow and give him his belated birthday present. That was the plan, until i discovered some new information about him and a certain enemy of mine. But i wasnt going to let that phase me, the main problem now is that i've fallen in love with the present i was going to give him and kind of want to keep it for myself, ha. Part of me is saying "come on, he's a massive twat and hasnt shown you any recognition or respect for a good few months ATLEAST. He doesnt deserve anything from you, especially something so fuckin' cool." ...................But, im worried i'll regret not giving him it. Like a tiny part of me regrets not being able to organise the hot air balloon sooner. Imagine how different things could be? What if i didnt give him the present, and a million things that couldve happened if i HAD given it to him, dont happen? But then, surely that's the same vise versa? I hate coming to these cross roads. 
I also considered keeping it for myself until christmas, and then giving it to him as a present then and OH MY GOD I JUST HAD THE WIERDEST DE JA VU AND woa. That was like, it was like a de ja vu 'flashback' from before i knew dingo, but looking forwards and being sat here in this bathroom of my new house considering whether to give him it, fuck. That was fucking wierd.
But yeah, im worried if i leave it til christmas it will be too late.
Too late for what?
I DONT EVEN KNOW.
Although if i gave it to him a christmas time we'd be on a break from school so i'd be able to see him and stuff, and who knows what could happen... whereas if i give it to him tomororow we just go straight back to school. And he's supposedly currently 'seeing' this girl who i hate so he might not care. But what if by christmas they're an official item? Oh man. Then again,  when's that ever stopped  him before.

aaaaaaaahhhhhh this is doing my head in, i'll just try not to think about it for a bit. If i wake up tomorrow and have the urge to go round his to give him the present, then i will. If i dont, then i wont. Simple.



ha, simple